A Reason, Season or a Lifetime

A reason, a season, or a lifetime. That’s what they say about people who enter our lives. Whether by chance, or a planned opportunity. But who decides how long someone stays? Is it divine intervention? Is it something planned that we know nothing about? Who decides when the goodbye happens?

What defines a reason, season or lifetime?

I think the most difficult relationship to determine is when someone enters your life for a reason and figuring out what that reason is. Perhaps they have come and gone before you know why. It could be a wise word that is spoken to you, that resonates with something you’re going through. It could be someone that gives you a suggestion, direction or even a criticism, that makes you sit and reflect. These people don’t stay in your life long, but their contribution is just as valuable as anyone else. As we grow, we may not even remember the names of those who entered our life for a reason. But we will always remember what the reason was….eventually.

Those that came into my life for a reason are typically people who I have encountered throughout my education or career path. They have taught me about the kind of leader that I do or don’t want to be. They are co-workers that have helped me work towards and accomplish my goals. They are college professors who taught me about integrity within my field. Their impact was great even if their presence was small.

I’ve had people come into my life for a season. Or several seasons before the friendship had run its course. We left each other’s lives for various reasons. Different life goals, different opinions, different choices. It wasn’t necessarily that things were bad, it was that we had reached that fork in the road, and each of us chose a different path. I wish these people all the best life has to offer.

I had a lifetime friend. It was a no-brainer to call her that. We were introduced when we were infants and grew up together. Sometimes neighbors, sometimes down the street from one another and at other times living in different towns. It was a friendship like Mary-Anne and Wanda (cue The Chicks). Each of us knew that it would only take a phone call and the other one would be there with the tarp or the shovel or just a shoulder, if needed.  Although we pursued different interests and didn’t talk nearly as much as we did while growing up, it felt like no time had passed when we would meet up. Over the last four years, we reconnected and our friendship was stronger than ever. We shared everything. This friend was my ride or die and I was hers, right up until the end when cancer introduced itself. My friend was spicy. Unfortunately, cancer was spicier. I lost my lifetime friend in February.

I hold my cards close to my heart. I can be guarded at times when meeting someone new. I over think constantly. Perhaps I’m the person who decides the reason, season or a lifetime. I don’t really know.

I will always miss my lifetime friend. There is no one that can replace her.  And I welcome the people that will enter my life even if only for a reason or a season.  I am entering my “Peace Era”. I have no room in my life for drama. It takes up too much energy. I want calm, campfires, earl gray tea, kitty cat snuggles and dancing on the deck in front of our trailer. Living and sharing life with my partner that we have worked to build together.